Artemis Fowl, Holly Short, Loki, and Tony Stark in the Portal world
by Rangers Riders and Time Lords
Summary: This is a story about what would happen if the four above people were captured by Glados and forced to go through the levels. Hopefully will have some A/H, contains information at least after The Atlantic Code, and after the Avengers, although it mentions a small amount from iron man 3. The chapters get longer as they go on. Not sure if it should be K or T for mild language...
1. Chapter 1: The Awakening

Chapter one: The awakening

I slowly open my eyes, to see an unfamiliar room. I try to sit up on my bed, but my golden horn hat is stuck on the pillow. I don't even know why I wear that stupid thing. It doesn't even make me look that cool. Taking it off, I carefully set it down on the pillow. It might be a stupid thing, but my brother would kill me if I damaged our family heirloom. I now get a better view of my surroundings. I am in a small glass room, with a toilet, a bed, and a desk. The little radio on the desk is just repeating the same 10 seconds of music over and over again. I decide to smash it. Outside of my little room is just a bigger room. I jump as a computerized voice comes on out of nowhere.

"_Welcome test subject number 1897336. You will have much fun inside this testing facility."_

"Test subject?! Do you know who I am?! I am Loki! Former ruler of Asguard!"

"_Get ready to step through the portal in 3. 2. 1. Now."_

A light blue hole opens up next to me, while an orange one opens up on the other side of the glass. When I look through it, I see me, and my long green cape, but not like a mirror, more like a video camera. I cautiously stick one hand through it and see it come out of the orange hole! I guess these are portals. Just realizing it, I look around for my scepter, only to find it's not here.

"Hey you! Stupid computer voice! Where the CRAP is my scepter?!"

_"I am Glados. You may call me Glados. You may not call me stupid computer voice. You may call me Glados. You must now go through the testing facility."_

"And please tell me why I would give a crap about your facility."

"_You give a crap because when you complete the facility, you will get your scepter back._"

"Hmm, yeah I guess I could try out a portal testing facility… or I could just blow this place up! I took doomsday devices class in high school! I can make a bomb out of much less than a radio!"

"_Any and all unauthorized explosions will be terminated. Now please start the test."_

I decide that this robot voice really is a robot, so I think, why not. I might as well play around with some portals. And I really need my staff back. So I walk through the portal. I feel a slight tingling while I walk through, but it passes soon enough. I wander around for a few minutes, going through various doors and hallways. Through some glass I see what looks like the hulk, eating a room of pancakes.

"Hulk want more pancakes!" he screams as he finishes the room.

I see a blue light wiz past my face. I turn to see what it was, and see yet another blue portal. This time though, I can't see the orange portal. I look through the blue, and try to decide whether it's safe to jump, when all of a sudden the portal just closes. Shocked, it takes me a few seconds to figure out that I should try and find out where the portals are coming from.

"_For this first test, please get the version 1 portal gun."_

Ugh, Glados again. Well, I'd better do what it says. After all, 'hell hath no fury like that of an emotionless robot'. I see a small hole in the wall, just as the blue zips by my face again. This time, before it closes on me, I jump straight through the portal, landing on some sort of platform with a rotating pedestal, holding some sort of thingamajig. Is looks like I am supposed to put it on like a glove. I decide it won't do any harm to pick it up. Right when I pick it up though, some idiot in a fedora swings in on a whip yelling 'Indiana Jones to the rescue!' and puts a sandbag down on the pedestal. He then falls into the water and sinks down.

I feel a button inside of glove-like opening. Since I have no idea what it does, I press it. The blue light shoots out of it, and a blue portal appears on the wall. It's too far to jump to, but I could always just swim in the water. I _could_, but then my awesome cape would get wet. So I shoot a portal below me instead. I fly through and land on my face in an undignified manner. Looking around, I see a sliding iron door, and a blue box with a black 'X' on it. I walk towards it, and when I get to it, the camera swivels around and stares at me, while the blue box with a black 'X' turns into an orange box with a black checkmark on it. The door slides open. I walk through the door, and then this blue screen, which makes all of the portals I made disappear.


	2. Chapter 2: Company

Tony Stark was listening to some cheerful, upbeat music while using a screwdriver on his blue and green portal gun. He had what looked like a turret next to him, but it was black and not shooting.

"Almost done Deff. We'll be out of here in no time!" Tony says happily.

I decide to come out of the shadows, but only after shooting my blue orb at a wall way behind me. Cautiously creeping forward, the turret noticed me. It instantly trained its targeting laser on me. Tony must have noticed, because he sprang away from me and aimed his portal gun at me.

"That can't hurt me Stark," I sneered "It's not a weapon. I have given you too much credit for your intelligence."

"Well, under normal circumstances you would be correct. However, I have been, shall we say, _improving_ my little doohickey here." He replied.

He pointed his portal gun at me and shot a black bolt towards me. I instantly shot my gun to block it. It hit my portal with a _Crack _and sent a shockwave out strong enough to knock the three of us off of whatever we were using to stay upright. Debris went flying everywhere, almost killing me. Stark was the first one up, lurching over to his turret. He very carefully picked it up and brushed it off.

"You're alright Deff, hang in there." He said very soothingly.

The turret slowly lit up again, only to fix his laser weakly on my chest. It soon flickered out, and he dimmed his lights with a message on his screen saying _sleep mode activated_.

"Look what you've done!" He screamed. "You could have killed him!"

I started forward, then thought better of it.

_**okay, so the second chapter wasn't longer than the first. Just go on to the third chapter. That one will be**__**longer.**_


	3. Chapter 3: Artemis Fowl

_**I actually started this as a new fanfiction, but then decided to add it to this one.**_

The bar was the last place Artemis wanted to be. It smelled bad and the drinks tasted terrible, but he had promised Holly to meet her there for his twenty first birthday dinner. They had an argument about whether or not Artemis would go, but eventually he gave in.

"You have to go to the bar, it's your twenty first birthday! You can finally drink alcohol." Holly had said earlier that evening.

"I've been drinking since I was sixteen, Holly. Also, there is that not-so-small conundrum about losing your powers if you drink with a mud man." Artemis had replied.

"First of all, SIXTEEN?! Second of all, N01 fixed that, remember?"

After about 20 minutes of reasons given why Artemis should or should not go, although Holly really only gave one reason, and that is that he is now 21. So Artemis now sat at the fairy bar, going to extreme lengths to keep his Armani suit clean. Butler sat in the corner of the room, with his Sig Sauer handy, fixated on Artemis and not drinking at all. Artemis had just started to come up with reasons why Holly was late, when she sat down next to him.

"Oh look at my little mud boy," She said "All grown up."

"Holly, I'm only 21. I am neither 'all grown up' nor 'your little mud boy'. Now may we please leave?"

"You promised at least one drink Artemis, and I intend to make you keep your promises."

Holly decided the conversation was over, so she ordered a scotch made from a Japanese fungus. She ordered an American white wine for Artemis. Judging by the smell of Holly's scotch, Artemis decided to not go anywhere near it.

It seems to Artemis that Holly got intoxicated very quickly. Well, that or fairy alcohol has much more alcohol that human drinks have. After just three bottles, Holly was well and truly drunk. She hit on Chix Verbil, which was a bad idea for both of them, considering Holly hated Chix, and Chix had just gotten over trying to impress Holly. Artemis had to carry her home to her apartment on the other side of Haven.

Artemis had convinced Butler that nothing would happen to him while he was bringing Holly home, so Butler had reluctantly gone back to wait for Artemis at Fowl Manor. Butler decided to at least give Juliet a break from Beckett and Myles, so he took Beckett into the gym with him.

"Tell Artemis he's a good friend." Holly said to Artemis when they got to her apartment.

"Holly, it's me, Artemis."

"Alright, but make sure to tell him." Artemis realized that Holly was too drunk to recognize him, so he decided to humor her.

"Alright, I'll tell him."

"I'm pretty sure that Artemis likes me, but he doesn't have the courage to tell me. I think it has something to do with me telling him that his fairy kissing days are over."  
"Should I tell him?"

"Sure, but whatever you do, don't tell him that I'm playing hard to get. I like him very much, but I want him to come out and ask me first. That's why I tried to get him drunk today. But don't tell him that."  
"Alright, I won't." At this point, Artemis felt bad that he was deceiving Holly, but very glad that Holly felt the same way he did.

Artemis tucked Holly into bed, then went and sat down on her couch. He resolved to spend the night, just to make sure Holly was going to be okay. He took a few minutes to study her apartment, out of curiosity. It was a 2 floored apartment, with 2 bedrooms on the top floor, 2 bathrooms, a living room, a study, and a kitchen on the top floor. The living room had a flat screen TV, a love seat, and a rocking chair. It had dark green walls, and flowery wallpaper.

Artemis heard soft footsteps behind him, and someone breathing quietly. He took a second to judge where in the apartment the intruder was, and decided he or she was right behind him. He reached for his cell phone on the table, and opened up _Bloons Tower Defense 5.5_, which was his code name for his laser. He turned the setting up to stun, and just before he could whip around to stun the perpetrator, he was knocked unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4: The OTHER Awakening

Artemis Fowl woke up in a glass cell. It contained a clip board, a toilet, a bed, and a radio. Next to him was an identical cell containing Holly Short. Both of them were wearing orange jumpsuits. Artemis nearly ripped his off, because it wasn't an Armani suit.

_Butler must be going crazy. D'arvit, I think that my Atlantis Complex might be coming back. There had to be only four items in the cell. Oh god, what about Orion? I'll deal with that later._

Holly seemed to be waking up. The first thing she did, was find the toilet, and vomit in it.

"Holly, will you be ok?"

"Four minutes and yes."  
"Why not in five minutes?"

"Oh gods no, not the Atlantis Complex again."

"I'm afraid it's to be."

"D'ARVIT! We have to get out of here, cure your Atlantis Complex again, and get you a 21st birthday present, in no particular order."

So Holly and Artemis took turns hitting the glass separating their cells repeatedly with the radios, with the added bonus of turning the terrible music off. After about three hours of Holly hitting the glass, and Artemis getting tired and giving up 8 times, the glass finally broke. Holly rushed into Artemis' cell and hugged him tightly.

"At least I broke down that glass." Holly said.

Artemis decided to hold off on his feelings to formulate a plan to get out of there.

_**Okay, so maybe this one isn't longer either...**_


	5. Chapter 5: Meeting Up

"How much longer do we have to play this stupid game Glados?" Loki shouted. "We've already finished 4 boring levels. Give your co-op challenge a rest."

"Don't even bother shouting at her Loki. She'll never respond" Stark commented.

"T_est subject number 1897336, and test subject number 1897218. You will now proceed through the hallway on your left._"

Loki took a second to study his surroundings. There was no hallway on the left.

"You stupid computer. There is no hallway to the right." Stark muttered.

"_Look at the ceiling. Test subject number 1897218, keeping a turret as a pet is illegal. It will self-destruct in 20 seconds._"

"Noooo! Def! Don't leave me! I'm so sorry Def, I really am."

Sure enough, there was a small hole with white behind it on the ceiling. It was too small to fit in, though, so they had to figure out another way to get through. It seemed that Stark was ahead of Loki here, as he was already aiming his gun at the hole. He shot his portal, and it turned the white in the hole black. He then switched a setting on his portal gun and shot at the black, opening a white portal.

"How did you do that, Stark?" Loki asked, "My portal gun only works on the white."

"Hacked it" he answered before going in.

"Well alright then." Loki replied before I jumped through the portal.

They were in a room similar to where Loki woke up, with 2 cells in it. The glass dividing the rooms was broken between the two cells, and it seemed to contain a man meditating and some tiny woman with pointed ears.

"What the hell are you?" Loki asked the tiny woman.

"Ah! Artemis! More people!" The small woman shrieked.

"What have I told you about interrupting me while I'm planning? I'm trying to get us out of these cells." The man supposedly called Artemis said.

"Isn't Artemis a girl's name?" "We can help with that" Loki and Stark said at the same time.

"The NEXT person to ask me that question-" Artemis started

"Artemis, shut up." Holly interrupted. "They can get us out. How can you get us out?"

"Oh like this." Stark said, while taking out his portal gun. "Stand back."

Stark aimed his gun at the cell no one was in, and shot a blue bolt out of it. The glass started vibrating, and cracked. Everyone else in the room covered their ears because of the sound coming from the glass while vibrating. Imagine someone taking nails on a chalkboard, making it 6.5 times louder, and 17.39 octaves higher. The glass shattered.

"What the hell is that?" Artemis asked

"That, my dear Watson, is a sonic blast" Stark said.  
"Oh d'arvit." Holly said. "Run."

"What?" Loki asked.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME WATSON? WATSON?! DO YOU KNOW HOW HIGH MY IQ IS?! I CAN GURANTEE THAT IT IS AT LEAST 200 POINTS HIGHER THAN YOURS, AND 350 TIMES HIGHER THAN YOUR BRITISH FRIEND'S! SO YOU DO **_NOT_** CALL ME WATSON. MY IQ IS AT LEAST 40 POINTS HIGHER THAN SHERLOCK'S, AND YOURS IS AT LEAST-" That was all Artemis could get out before Holly kissed him.

The kiss lasted for at least 20 seconds, 3 of which were confusing for Loki and Tony Stark, the other 17 of which were just awkward. They pulled away slowly and looked into each other's eyes.

"Whatever happened to my fairy kissing days being over?" Artemis asked

"That was just to get you under control." Holly replied "See, aren't you feeling more relaxed?"

"Wait, did you say _fairy_?" Loki asked.

"Yes, my British friend. I did say fairy. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. I believe introductions are in order." Artemis said. "My name is Artemis Fowl- Holly, in situations like these do we say things about ourselves or just our names?"

"Ummm, I've never been in a situation like this, and these guys probably know nothing about you, considering one's an American and the other is an idiot."

"Wait, did she just call me an idiot?" Loki interrupted

"So, I would guess that you should introduce yourself." Holly finished.

"Alright then. My name is Artemis Fowl. I am the smartest person alive, with an IQ higher that Einstein, to be modest; I am the first person to have captured a fairy; I have made billions off of various patents; I have saved the world 7 times; been the only human; other than my body guard; to have both seen **and** remembered the fairy capitals; and am the only person to ever hack into Foaly's computers. Foaly is a centaur by the way."

"I'm Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon; I am a fairy, an elf to be precise; I have helped Artemis save the world each time, and I have been captured by Artemis. That's actually how we met."  
"Wait, wait, wait. Higher IQ than Einstein is _modest_? And what are you talking about being an elf?" Tony Stark seemed overwhelmed.

"Everything you heard was correct." Artemis said. "Who are you two?"

"I am Loki, brother of Thor, son of Laufi. I am a Frost Giant, and have nearly taken over the world, if I wasn't stopped by this buffoon over here."

"My name is Tony Stark, I'm sure you've heard of me."

"Nope, can't say we have." Holly replied.

"What? Ugh, fine. I am a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. I have designed and developed the most advanced technology in the world, saved the world 4 times, and I cannot believe you haven't heard of me."

"_Enough introducing. Get on with the next test. Test subjects 1897391 and 1897392 must take their portal guns._"

"What the hell?" Holly asked.

"Oh. That's Glados, or as I call her, stupid computer voice." Loki said. "She has been forcing us to go through these _levels_, bending the rules of physics. Supposedly when we finish we get to leave."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen." Holly said.


End file.
